Death: 1994….it’s only a dream!??

1994 Death Dream

I just finished reading “Shakti Woman” by Vicki Noble. Her beliefs on life and death are very close, if not the same as mine.
Progress of the soul. Advancement to enlightenment. Using my physical body that walks the earth to move my soul body forward on it’s journey home.

My dream last night was one of death. I found myself in a situation where I was going to be killed, dying didn’t scare me, it was the method by which death would come that scared me. I don’t want to be tortured, drown or have a violent painful death. I imagine no one wants that, if they had a choice in the matter.

I pondered the death dream and its meaning. What was happening in my life that needed to die. Would that death cause me pain? Would the transformation be violent or tortured? The death in my dream did not come swiftly, no it took more years for me to embrace it, to understand the purpose of this dream.

My egoic self was about to die. The part of me that manipulated, judged, blamed and all the icky stuff I did to get my needs met, but those actions were unsatisfying and shallow to my inner beings growth. For years after this dream, I struggled with my own self destruction all the time I was unaware that I was preparing for the death I had experienced in my dream years before……

In 2003 I traveled to the jungles of Peru where I met death face to face in a small hut deep in the Amazon rainforest. I had journeyed for two days to drink the “Vine of Death”, Yage also known as Ayahuasca.

The experience of dying is an interesting sensation, I actually found it pleasant. The means to get there is less so, a brew from Banisteriopsis caapi and Psychotria viridis make up the tea or brew that is ingested by the jungle tribes of the Amazon. Ayahuasca is a sacred brew used by many indigenous communities of the Amazon jungle for divination, healing and other cosmogonic or shamanic purposes. Physically a person can expect to vomit or have diarrhea as the brew winds its way through the intestional tract.

The mind on the other hand is aware of parallel dimensions within reality, a heightened awareness is stimulated as the brew transcends the blood brain barrier, the third eye opens through stimulation of the pineal gland, located at the base of brain. I found the experience of Ayahuasca to be a gateway into my soul, one that I could not deny was frighteningly alluring. For there, in that heightened state of awareness I met the dark shadow side of myself, the ego was her handmaiden.

I was seeking to strip away my false self, I wanted to live an authentic life, that part of this sacred work was painful torture for me. I realized I did not need to kill my ego only to understand its purpose and give it direction within that purpose, as one would do with a child. I received the unexpected gift of knowing unconditional love too. The connection to the realm of spirit through the “Vine of the Soul” is profoundly beautiful, enlightening and pragmatic. The inner work we each do toward our own self realization or living authentically is challenging, but I have found it to be worth all the adventures Spirit has asked me to take…… dreamtime or realtime its all about living authentically.